In the event you’ve ever been on an extended road trip or invited to a slumber party or spent a year as an eighth grader, you’ve likely played “Would You Rather.”
The rules are incredibly simple and universally known. But on the off-chance you’re visiting us from outer space, here’s how the “Would You Rather” game works: You start by introducing a dilemma of two equally horrid-appearing (or occasionally equally enticing options to the other player. Here’s an example: “Would you rather have sex using a dog and nobody in the planet knows you did it, or would you rather not have sex using a dog, and everybody in the planet believes you did it?”
You then smirk as the other player wrestles with this kind of impossible scenario. As soon as they pick the things that they consider to be the less awful of two atrocious situations, it is their turn to come up with a dilemma for you.
The game is a regular section on the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast. Star guests including Ice T and Bernie Sanders are requested by host Scott Aukerman to select the things that they believe to be the best of two horrendous scenarios. The questions are nutty and awful: “Would you rather eat an entire Christmas tree, or have all of your kids have Jim Carrey’s face from The Grinch tattooed on their chests?” is one question Aukerman posed to comedian Patton Oswalt.
The beauty of “Would You Rather” is its simplicity. The game needs no advance knowledge and no abilities outside a little bit of ingenuity. But it is only as fun as the people you play with. There’s no denying that the more illogical and sometimes Xrated “Would You Rather” gets, the more interesting it becomes.
For a little inspiration, here are a few uneasy proposals compiled from Reddit, either.io, and our sick, sick imaginations.
60 Really Funny “Would You Rather” Questions to Ask
Would you rather develop pounds or be prohibited from the internet for a month?
Would you rather an unrecognizable child photo of you be the topic of a depraved internet meme (i.e. Ermahgerd Daughter that continues for years, or be the laughingstock of Twitter for a day?
Would you rather accidentally “enjoy” a two-year-old photo of your significant other’s ex whom you were in the middle of Facebook stalking, or accidentally send a sext to your mom?
Would you rather be trolled by members of the alt-right or members of Gamergate?
Would you rather have to read every word of the “terms and conditions” when you’re prompted to, or have to ask your parents for permission each time you have sex?
Would you rather be a millionaire or live in the universe of Harry Potter?
Would you rather live in the universe of Star Wars or heal a rare type of cancer?
When you die, would you rather have your credit card statement or your Google search history released?
Would you rather be allergic to chocolate or sensitive to smartphones?
Would you rather play Pokmon Go in real life or The Last Guardian in real life?
Would you rather be in a real-life version of The Walking Dead or a real-life version of Game of Thrones?
Would you rather be permanently prohibited from Tinder or be permanently prohibited from all grocery stores within a -mile radius of where you reside?
Would you rather have a hacker swoop in and publicize all the selfies you’ve taken in the previous year (without filters or have your private email hacked?
Would you rather lose the ability to vote in elections or the ability to say anything on social media (including commenting on people’s Facebook posts or enjoying their pictures on Instagram?
Would you rather have the ability to find out why someone you’re dating ghosts on you or the ability to see actual ghosts?
Would you rather lose all of the pictures you’ve taken on your own smartphone this year or lose all of the publications you own?
Would you rather gain friends in real life or , followers on Twitter?
Would you rather be catfished or the victim of identify theft?
Would you rather lose access to a smartphone for a year and get a percentage raise on the job or keep your smartphone and the same wages?
Would you rather be able to pick the individual who becomes the next President of the United States or the individual who directs Star Wars: Episode X?
Would you rather be made to drink only pumpkin spice lattes and no other coffee for the remainder of your own life or just LaCroix for the remainder of your own life?
Would you rather be made to host a huge dinner party and invite everyone you left-swiped on Tinder or have brunch with the last person who called you out on Twitter?
Would you rather lose your ability to text or lose your ability to provide a high-five?
Would you rather seem like Jar-Jar Binks for the remainder of your own life or Siri?
Would you rather lose the ability to use GPS for the remainder of your own life or lose the ability to use a debit or credit card?
Would you rather don only Sailor Moon ensembles for the remainder of your own life or dress like the cast of Hamilton for the remainder of your own life?
Would you rather have the ability to see every text which wasn’t sent to you or the ability to see every text that is about you?
Would you rather have nude pictures of you leaked on the web but not seen by anyone you know or unintentionally moon everyone at work during an important meeting?
Would you rather have eyes that can film everything or ears that can record everything?
Would you rather be doxed by Anonymous or have your information leaked in a medical insurance provider hack?
Would you rather have Reddit take up percentage of your day or gag take up percentage of your day?
Would you rather have Trump win the presidential election or have the voice in your head sound like Trump for the remainder of your own life?
Would you rather eat the Twitter fowl or the World Wildlife Fund panda?
Would you rather consistently get stuck in traffic or consistently have a really slow internet connection?
Would you rather get selected for the Hunger Games or the Triwizard Tournament?
Would you rather get trolled on Twitter by hundreds or get called an offensive name on the street by a stranger?
Would you rather read everything that Kim Kardashian has ever tweeted or be compelled to only use Kimoji for the remainder of your own life?
Would you rather be made to see your friends only once per month or lose Twitter followers every month?
Would you rather have unlimited storage space in your iPhone or endless storage space in real-life?
Would you rather live out the Zola tweet storm in real life or be forced to follow DJ Khaled’s advice for a month?
Would you rather have Google search results for your name confused with a condemned killer or a well-known pornstar?
Would you rather give the rest of the internet control over your Twitter account or give your mom control over your Tinder account?
Would you rather have every photo on your own cellphone play as a slideshow for your family or let your grandma read your text messages with your significant other?
Would you rather be a wildly successful YouTube star who’s accidentally covered by chan or a uploader everyone honors but no one watches?
Would you rather have the aptitude teleport each time you fart or treat any wound by yelling at it?
Would you rather have every Tinder match have the capacity to read your other messages or never be able to use computers or smartphones for dating again?
Would you rather be able to talk to your pet or to individuals who are dead via Facebook messenger?
Would you rather take a look at your Mother or your Dad’s internet history?
Would you rather have man birth control or six weeks of maternity leave for each and every woman?
Would you rather have dogs or cats permanently prohibited from your Instagram feed?
Would you rather sucker punch a Nazi or get into a televised debate with a Nazi asserting against their points?
Would you rather have a cold three months out of the year or need to see a doctor to get viral marketing from the head?
Would you rather consistently use LOL-talk in real life, even at funerals, or only communicate by means of a string of emoji that pop up over your head?
Would you rather have your most humiliating moment got in a GIF which goes viral or face your greatest fear?
Would you rather never have to improve your personal computer or never have to upgrade your smartphone?
Would you rather have Batman’s abilities, cash, equipment, and lifestyle or end crime around the world for good but be poor and undetected?